“Urrr…?”

“Duo?” Blank stare. “Duo, tell me you’re not upset.”

“Upset?! Upset??!! Why should I be upset? My best friend just told me he likes guys! Of course I’m not upset!” Duo’s face reddened as he threw back the rest of his drink. “My god…how come you…? How long has…no, I don’t even wanna know.”

Duo cradled his head in his hands as if in great pain.

Heero sighed. “I never told you because I was afraid you’d react like this.”

“Well, excuse me!” Duo’s head shot up again. “But how would you feel if your best friend was lying to you the entire time?”

“Duo,” Heero glared around the half empty bar, hoping they weren’t attracting undo attention. “I’m still the same person.”

His voice was calm, even through all the years they’d known each other. Through the war, the next war, the war after that, and now in the ranks of the Preventers, they had remained close. But here, in the tiny corner bar where Preventers usually met after work, Heero saw their friendship falling apart.

“No.” Duo shook his head vigorously. “No, this is different. How could you…? I don’t even wanna think about it.”

Heero restrained himself from muttering ‘that’s obvious’ and spoke softly instead. “You’re shocked, and I understand that.” The Japanese man grimaced, hearing his words form like something out of a pamphlet entitled Coming Out the Easy Way. “Why don’t we just drop it for now?”

“Fine.” Duo grumbled, accepting another drink from their waitress. An uncomfortable silence followed in which both men sipped their drinks, toyed with their glasses, and generally avoided each other’s eyes. Duo finally cleared his throat.

“So…when did you become gay?”

Heero groaned. “I thought you didn’t want to talk about it.”

“I’m trying to be open minded here.” Duo sighed, annoyed. “So when did you get so gay?”

“I’ve always been gay, Duo.” The ex-pilot’s blue eyes darkened, unwavering. “I didn’t just suddenly turn it on.”

“Oh.” Duo shifted in his chair, wondering if all of his tasteless fag jokes would come back to haunt him. His chick jokes sure had. “So this is a forever kinda thing? It’s not a phase?”

“No,” Heero said carefully. “This is not a phase.”

“Oh.” Duo repeated helpfully. The two uniformed men sat in deep thought. Duo’s thoughts went like this:

He’s thought about me naked, oh my god, he’s thought about me naked,

no wait, he’s seen me naked, oh my god he’s seen me naked!!

While Heero’s went to the tune of:

Shit.

Fuck.

Fucking shit.

“So…when did you, ah…” Duo took another swig, and then another, along with a deep breath. “But you just realized this, right? You never…thought of me like that, right?”

Heero rubbed a hand over his tired eyes. “I thought of you as attractive, yes. But you were with Hilde, so I knew you’d never…” Heero removed his hand from his face, seeing Duo’s expression for the first time. The only word that could possibly describe it was disgust. The American grabbed his coat from the hook on the wall, spun of his heel, and was out the door in a matter of seconds, slamming it in a rage.

Heero slumped a bit in his chair, heaving a sigh.

“He didn’t take it very well.” A low voice murmured from behind him.

“Trowa?” Heero turned, finding the tall Preventer standing with his hands in his pockets.

“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. But I heard the last few minutes of it.” The lanky man took Duo’s vacated seat.

“Not your fault. I’m sure everyone in the place heard.” Heero’s smirk faltered, his hands still fiddling with his now empty glass. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Trowa shook his head. Heero had mellowed out a lot in the years following the wars, but he was still a perfectionist and, on some level, a masochist. “Duo was just surprised. He’ll get over it.”

Heero grunted incredulously.

“I could speak to him.” Trowa offered.

Heero lifted his gaze to Trowa’s green eyes. “That would be kind of you.”

 

---

 

“Of course I told Hilde! And do ya know what she said? ‘Duo, baby, you didn’t know? Have you seen the shorts he used to wear??’ She was so not stunned. How could she know?”

“We all knew, Duo.” Trowa sighed, leaning his elbows on the same bar that they had been at the night before. It had been a long day, what with Duo avoiding Heero (and vice versa) at the Preventers office. Trowa had been more than happy to take Duo to the bar after work for the sake of peace. But that would mean having The Talk, which had now turned into Duo’s Talk, or more appropriately, Duo’s Rant.

“What do you mean, you all knew?” Duo sat, flabbergasted.

“We suspected. Even Wufei.”

“Wufei??! How did he know and not me?” Duo smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand.

“Look at it this way.” Trowa said quietly. “You probably didn’t see it because Heero was your best friend and you didn’t care about his sexuality then, and you shouldn’t care about it now.” Trowa took a small sip of his vodka. “It’s natural for you to be shocked, but don’t cut Heero out of your life over something like this.”

“You make it sound so simple.” Duo grinned a little over the edge of his glass. “And in as few words as possible.”

Trowa gave a shrug, but wouldn’t apologize for being a man of few words.

“I guess I did act a little harshly.” Duo muttered grudgingly. “I’ll tell Heero I’m sorry. By the way…” Duo turned on his stool to look directly at the other young man. “…when did you find out?”

“That Heero was gay?” Trowa took a long swallow, grimacing as the liquid burned a path down his throat. “When I slept with him.”

“What?!” Duo sputtered, his beer sloshing across the varnished wood of the counter. “You’re gay too?”

“Say it louder, Duo.” Trowa mumbled, his eyes narrowing. Duo shut his mouth guiltily. “I never thought about it much.” Trowa continued, tapping his glass to signal the bartender’s refill. “It was a long time ago. We were young, experimenting. It was only once.”

“When was this?” Duo stared, dumbfounded.

“In Antarctica, when Heero battled Zechs. You weren’t there.”

“Of course I wasn’t there! Maybe if I had been, I might’ve been keen to this whole gay thing!” The braided American hissed.

“Continue referring to this situation as ‘the gay thing’ and I will hurt you.” Trowa muttered.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry! I am open minded, I am open minded…” Duo chanted, rubbing his temples in meditation.

“Hm. Anyway, that’s how I found out about Heero.” Trowa sipped his drink.

“So what the hell happened anyway?” Duo wiped up the puddle of beer with his shirt sleeve. “Just out of curiosity…”

“Yes, just curiosity.” Trowa’s lips curved into a smirk on the rim of his shot glass.

“Shut up and tell it already.” Duo crossed his eyes, annoyed.

“There’s not much to tell. It just happened.” Trowa downed the last of his shot.

“You are a terrible story teller.” Duo frowned.

“Like I said, it was a long time ago.”

“Yeah, but you never forget your first.” Duo paused, his mug halfway to his lips before putting it back down. “It was your first, right?”

“Yes, his as well.” Trowa waved away the bartender who had approached with the bottle ready. When the intruder was out of hearing distance, the green eyed youth breathed a sigh. “He was the gentlest lover anyone could ask for.”

Trowa whispered so quietly, and in such a way that his glass caught the brunt of the statement, that Duo wasn’t certain his friend had spoken.

“Why didn't you guys continue with it?” Duo propped his chin on his hand, watching Trowa’s lips slowly uncurl.

“I’m not sure…it wasn’t planned. It wouldn’t have worked out.” Trowa began to regret sending away his chance at a third vodka.

“Ah.” Duo regarded his mocha haired comrade for a moment. “Thanks for telling me this. I really have to apologize to Heero tomorrow. But I gotta go; Hilde will pitch a fit if I get home late.” Duo grinned and stood, finishing off his glass.

“Goodnight, then.” Trowa waved to his friend as he walked out the door before reaching for his own worn jacket.

 

---

 

“But BABE! It would be so nice of me. They’ll be thankful, you’ll see.” Duo fluttered his eyes cutely.

“I think you should mind your own business. What if it turns ugly?” Hilde sulked as Duo burrowed under the covers the curl up next to her.

“Hey, who was the one to get Sally and Wufei together, huh?”

“Locking them in a room and telling them to have at it wasn’t exactly tactful.” The black haired girl huffed.

“But it worked.” Large purple eyes shone in the dark. “If my plan fails, which it won’t, at least it’ll be a laugh.”

“For you. Not Trowa or Heero.” Hilde reminded him.

“But what better way to show Heero I understand this whole gay thing than setting him up with a guy?” Duo smiled, turning off the bed side lamp.

“Duo,” Hilde sighed as the tiny coil flickered and died. “Don’t call it ‘the gay thing’.”

 

---

 

Trowa approached the bench slowly, stirring the dead leaves at his feet to make enough noise to alert the other man to his presence. Heero's ears picked up the rustling, thankful for the soft reminder that he could always get up and leave. The wind was biting coldly, making his calloused hands numb in the frigid air. The Japanese boy shifted on the white washed park bench to make room for the ex-pilot. Trowa sat quietly, his hands still hidden deep in his pockets.

"Duo gave you a letter too?" Heero laughed imperceptibly.

"He couldn't have made it more obvious. His handwriting isn't exactly unmemorable." Trowa smiled too, but kept his eyes on the frost slick pavement.

"I know." Heero chuckled. "He kept trying to convince me you had written it."

"He had good intentions." Green eyes illuminated for a moment with the light from a passing car.

"And we came anyway." Heero stated simply.

"If just not to disappoint Duo." Trowa sighed lowly.

The blue eyed young man nodded. "If just not to disappoint." he echoed.

"I'm sorry." Trowa said suddenly after a few minutes of watching the leaves falling peacefully off a dead stick of a tree. "I shouldn't have told Duo about what happened. You never did. I should have realized that you didn't want anyone to know." Trowa's breath came in small puffs of white smoke.

"I was confused, but not ashamed." Heero kicked at some decaying brown grass near his foot.

"But it was a long time ago." Trowa said, finally lifting his eyes to meet Heero's deep blues.

"Yes." Heero held the gaze for a moment. "A long time." His eyes dropped back to the ground.

"I do not regret it." Trowa said slowly, carefully, as if the speed of his words would minimize the danger of using them.

"Nor I." Heero let his head drop slightly to the side, regarding the patch of ice on the park path with detached silence. Trowa waited. Heero could feel him waiting. "It was important to me." He said at last.

Trowa glanced sidelong at his companion. "Me too."

Heero sighed, a real one for once, a sigh that embodied every range of emotion from despair to relief. It seemed overwhelming for both of them. The movement was simultaneous and mutual; Trowa moved closer to Heero's side as the Japanese man slid an arm around his shoulders. Trowa snaked his own long arm around Heero's back. They sat like that for a while, watching the uneventful scene in front of their little park bench and feeling each other's pulse through the minute physical contact. Shockingly enough, one of them finally broke the quiet.

"Why did you let me kiss you?" Heero tightened his hold on the taller young man unconsciously.

Trowa shrugged. "Why did you let me kiss you back?" His voice wasn't teasing, but seriously curious.

Heero maneuvered Trowa closer, letting him rest his cold face in the crook of his neck. The blue eyed boy rested his chin on top of the mocha brown head, puffing another cloud of steam into the air. "I was young." He said quietly.

"Yes." Trowa dragged himself upright, shoving his hands back into the pockets of his frayed jacket. "We were, weren't we?"

Heero watched immobile from the bench as the tall lanky figure walked away more silently than when it had appeared.