"Hey, have you seen Giles?" Buffy asked Xander, who stepped
in to the library.

"No. Isn't he here yet?"

"No. Maybe I should get worried. What if something has happened
to him?"

"Well, before you rush into beating people, perhaps you should call
him or something."

"Beating people isn't my solution to everything! Right?" she shot a
pleading look at Willow.

"Right," she nodded, grimacing to Xander behind Buffy's back.

     Before Buffy could actually remember where Giles kept the
phone, it rang behind his desk.

"Xander, would you take that?" The boy rolled over the reception
desk and picked up the receiver.

"The Sunnydale High Library, librarian in action Harris speaking,"
he said, grinning. On the other end he heard an earth-shattering
sneeze.

"Who is it?" Buffy asked.

"I'm not sure, but I think my eardrums just broke," Xander said,
holding his head. He brought the mouthpiece nearer, still keeping
the other end at a careful distance.

"Hello?"

"It's me," the other speaker wheezed hardly audibly.

"Giles?"

Buffy leapt up. "Is he all right? Where is he? Give it to me!"

"Yes, at home, no."

"Whaddya mean no? Give it to me!" Buffy made a tiger leap over
the table, taking Xander into headlock, forcing him to hand over the
receiver.

"Giles? Are you okay?"

"As well as can be expected," the librarian managed between
coughs. "I have a flu, and I only called in to inform you that I won't
be coming to work today."

"Buffy..." a strained whisper came from somewhere around
Buffy's armpit. "Would you please let me go?" Xander was still in
the Slayer's tight grip.

"Oh, sorry!" Buffy let go of him like he had burnt his arm.

"Are you sure you'll manage?"

"Yes. Don't worry."

"Okay... Well, take care of yourself." Buffy put the receiver down,
slightly shocked. "Giles isn't coming to work."

"Is he dying?" Willow yelped.

"Probably. Someone should check on him, he sounded pretty bad."

"I'll go," Xander said.

"You?!"

"What, can't I be willing to help a fellow man in distress? Besides,
it'll give me a good reason to skip school today."

***

     Xander strolled to the librarian's apartment and rang the doorbell.
A miserable-looking face greeted him in a small voice.

"Oh, hello. What brings you here?"

"Giles, God... You look terrible! Did I... Oh my god! Giles, I'm
sorry! I didn't know it was going to be that bad..." Xander ranted in
an overwhelming flow of guilt.

"Xander." Giles laid a hand on the boy's shoulder. "I'm an adult.
Viruses automatically strike me worse."

"But still I was a major idiot!"

"Could we possibly take this discussion inside? It's rather cold in
here."

"Oh, yes, sorry," Xander stammered and rushed inside. Giles shut
the door and followed him to the living room, realising how
thoroughly breathed the air there really was when he saw Xander
gulping for oxygen like a fish on dry land. He bit his lip not to
laugh.

"Do you want some hot chocolate?" Giles wheezed dryly. Xander
spun around, startled. "No, don't bother. Sit down. Please," he
added, looking at Giles intensely. He complied, on one hand
disappointed that he couldn't make anything for Xander, and on
another happy to sit.

"So, what brings you here? I really am all right, you wouldn't have
had to come for me."

"Buffy and Willow were worried about you too. Besides, I wanted
to. After all, this *is* my fault."

"Xander, no. Stop saying that. I would most likely have caught this
anyway." Giles looked down. "A-at least now the method was
pleasant." Gingerly looking from under his brows, he saw that
Xander was blushing fiercely.

"Um, actually that's one of the reasons I wanted to come." The boy
was so red now that Giles was afraid that he might get caught on
fire. Neither of them was still looking at the another.

"You had me go through some major identity crisis there." Giles
noted the 'you'. Not 'this thing' or 'the incident'. Either Xander
wanted someone to blame for this, or he just wanted to say that it
was not solely about him, that Giles had a very strong part in the
events too. Giles didn't speculate further, but let the remark pass.

"That's, that's very understandable. I-it must have shattered your
entire self-image."

"I'll say." It sounded like a joke, but Xander didn't smile. He
looked up. "What does this make me, then?"

"That's what you have to decide for yourself. When, when I was
with Ethan..."

"Hold. Pause here. Rewind," Xander said, mimicking the remote
control moves. "There has been you with Ethan?"

"Y-yes. When we were younger, a bit over your age. He did
conceal it rather well when he came back. It was not an easy break-
up."

"That much was evident."

"So, when I was with him, I too had difficulties with my identity. It
varied from bisexual to full gay for many years, until settling for
bisexual, with which I'm fully content now."

" 'Cause I don't think I wanna be gay, Giles. I still remember how
shocked I was when Larry came out to me. It made me feel things I
don't want to feel again."

Giles bit his lip. He knew from experience how hard this was to
Xander, maybe even harder than it had been on him, since Xander
was so sensitive. Giles would have given anything to ease it on him.
"Well, if you need to identify yourself, start with heterosexual, or
straight, as you Americans say. Move to bisexual when you think
you're ready."

"But I'm a man who maybe has... has... or at least thinks he has a
thing for you, you being another man."

"Well that does present a problem. With your identity," Giles added
hastily when seeing Xander's disappointed look. "But it really is
your own business when it comes down to it. I'm afraid I can't be
of much help there." The disappointed look came back, so Giles
tried hard to compose the thoughts in his mind into coherent words.
"But..." Giles looked down. Although the boy had already said it
himself, it was still hard. "...I will be there for you, whatever you
will eventually decide." He lifted his gaze and carefully touched
Xander's arm.

     The boy smiled, a small tear glistening in the corner of his eye.
Surprising the librarian, Xander grabbed him in a tender hug.

"Maybe I'll start as a Xander who likes a Giles, and work my way
from there."

     Giles hugged him back, holding his beloved tightly. "That
sounds good."

     They stood there for hours, two bodies beyond time. The world
could be without them for a while.