Xander walked into his house trying to remain as quiet as possible. He could
hear his parents yelling at each other out on the porch. Maybe if he was
deathly quiet, they wouldn't hear him come in.

"I'm not drunk, Sharol! God damn it, don't tell me that!" Xander heard his
father yelling. Xander tiptoed past the living room doorway and let out a sigh
of relief that his father hadn't seen him. "Alexander! Get in here, boy!" his
father yelled after him. Xander cursed under his breath and contemplated
making a break for it. Of course, he didn't do it. That would only anger his
father even more.

Hanging his head, Xander turned and entered the living room to face his
father's anger. As usual, his father was holding a bottle of burbeon, and his
shirt unbuttoned with a long liquor stain down the middle of his undershirt
made for the quintessetial drunk look. "Do you know what time it is?!" his
father demanded, his speech considerably slurred.

Xander looked down at his Tweety Bird watch and answered quickly, "Ten fifty."

"What did I tell you about coming in late from curfew, boy?!" his father asked
him, taking a few staggering steps towards him.

"His curfew is eleven, Mike," his mother said with a tired voice. Xander had
no doubt that she had already taken her nightly dose of valum.

"Don't second guess me, Sharol. The boy's late if I say he's late," his father
said. His mother only closed her eyes and leaned further back in her recliner.
"What the matter, Alexandra. Your lingerie party run a little late?" his
father asked with sarcasm dripping from his voice.

Xander felt his spine steel with pride and lifted his head to look his father
head-on. "Well, I'm sorry, but I put on a silk slip that didn't quite fit and
had a little trouble getting out of it," Xander said, matching his father's
sarcasm. He automatically regretted it when his father's eyes widened in
anger.

"Did you hear what your son just said to me, Sharol?!" his father said and
turned to his mother.

"Leave him alone, Mike. He was only joking," his mother said sleepily and
pulled her legs up on the chair.

His father turned back to Xander, his face red with anger. He began unbuckling
his belt and Xander flinched slightly, but didn't move. "Oh, you think your a
fucking comedian, boy. Well, I don't think I like your sense of humor." His
father managed to get his belt off without falling down first, which Xander
thought must be a record.

Xander didn't even see the first blow coming, but he sure as hell felt the
buckle of the belt cut into his ribs. "I'll teach ya to talk back to me!" his
father yelled before landing another blow across Xander's shoulder and then
another across his chest. Xander keeled over so that the blows would hit his
back, he still had bruises from the last time on his chest and he didn't want
the belt to hit any of them.

"Leave him alone, Mike!" his mother screamed and pushed herself of the chair
clumsily. She fell into his father and started tugging at his arm. His father
easily pushed her away, knocking her to the ground where she started crying.
Xander tried to get around his father to make sure she was okay, but his
father quickly blocked his way and started raining blows down on his back. A
blow from his father's fist landed sqarely on his back and knocked to his
knees.

"Stand up and take it like a man, you little pansy!" his father raged and
kicked him the ribs. Xander staggered on his knees and tried not to fall down.
When he tried to stand, his father pushed him with his foot and he fell back
on his ass. His father staggered back and fell over in his chair. Bringing the
bottle of burbeon up to his lips and taking a big swig his father looked at
him with disgust. "Get out of here, you worthless little shit!" he spat out at
Xander.

Xander ignored him and started to crawl over towards his mother who was still
crying on the floor. He wrapped his mother's arm around his shoulder and
stood, helping her up to her feet. "Put her high ass to bed. I can stand the
sight of neither of ya," his father sniffed as Xander led his mother out of
the living room and up the stairs.

When Xander got his mom to her bedroom she fell to the bed in pure exhaustion.
When she fell to the bed she dragged Xander down with her, so that he fell
right next to her. She cuddled up against him and started to cry her eyes out
against his chest. "I'm sorry, Xander," she choked. "I'm sorry I can't protect
you from him."

Xander ran a hand through her hair to comfort her. When he thought that she
was finally asleep, he started disengaging his limbs from hers, trying to be
careful not to wake her, but she gripped his arm. "You love your mom, don't
you Xander?" she asked without opening her eyes.

"Of course, I love you, Mom," Xander said with a tired voice. "That's a good
boy," his mother said and stroked his cheek lovingly before leaning forward to
plant a kiss on his lips. Xander flinched slightly, but she fell back against
the bed. She curled into a ball and was out in meer seconds. Xander wiped his
lips and stood from the bed. Before turning to leave, he snatched up a bottle
of pills from the nightstand and pocketed them.

After he closed the door to his parents room, he looked in the direction of
his room, but instead of heading to it, he turned and went down the stairs.
When he looked into the living room, he saw he father asleep in the chair, the
bottle of burbeon hanging precariously from his hand.

Xander shook his head and headed for the front door. He couldn't stay here
tonight. He couldn't lay awake in his bed knowing that either one of them
could come in at any time. Demanding things from him. He didn't know where he
was going to go, but anywhere would be better than here.

The End
 

Xander walked around for close to an hour. He knew it was really unsafe, being
out after dark in Sunnydale without a Slayer to keep you company. He toyed
with the idea of going to Buffy's, but she'd want an explanation and if he
gave her that she would just try and go over to his house to beat his dad to a
bloody pulp. His dad didn't like him much now, but Xander would be disowned if
his father lost a limb to a five foot three, hundred pound teenage girl.

He used to go to Willow's when stuff like this happened. She was the only
person who really understood. Since she and him had been friends since
childhood she had had to put up with bandaging sprained wrists and holding him
while he cried on her bed. But he couldn't go to her anymore, not since what
transpired that night in her bedroom. That kiss. That stupid kiss and all of
the ones after that. Not that he really regretted it. Not the way he should.
He did regret that he had hurt Oz and Cordelia.

Cordelia. Oz had forgiven them, being the kindred spirit that he was, but
Cordelia probably never would. Cordelia now threw his home life in his face as
a way to hurt him. He should have never told her, never really wanted to, but
one night after his mother had come to his room crying about what his father
did to her he found himself crawling through Cordelia's bedroom window. It
took almost all night, but Cordelia had been able to pry the truth out of him.
The shocked and confused look in her eyes when he told her had made him
automatically regret telling her, but by then it had been too late. Cordelia
would never fully understand what his parents did to him. She had always had a
good home life with parents who cared about her and each other. She had tried
to comfort him, but now that they were no longer together she would not be
there for him no matter how much he needed her.

After those three people there was only one other person in the world that
Xander trusted. He just didn't know how much he could trust him. And how could
he really go to him after what happened tonight, after the way he had
embarrassed himself. All he had meant to do was to comfort him, but he had
even found a way to dirty that small innocent act. It had been happening a lot
lately, only when they were alone. He tried hard to deny these new feelings,
but it just seemed the harder he tried the harder he got. He really couldn't
wait until the years of adolesence passed and he was able to control what Lil'
Xander did.

Still, he couldn't just wander around until sunrise. Maybe he could go to
Faith's. No, that wouldn't work, she'd just use him to get her jollies off and
then toss him out in the street again. Besides, he really didn't want to sleep
with her again and he doubted she'd want to just talk. No, that definitely
wouldn't work.

He could go to Oz's. He knew that Oz was too much of a nice guy to tell him to
get lost. Xander didn't think he'd be the same if he were in Oz's shoes.
Xander did, however, feel that for some reason Oz had forgiven him too
quickly. They talked more now than they did before he and Cordelia had found
him and Willow kissing in the factory. They hung together sometimes in the
halls, were partners in chem lab and had opted to work together the night
Willow and Buffy were almost burnt at the stake. Still, Xander wasn't ready
for the questions that would come if he went to Oz and he sure as hell wasn't
ready to answer them.

He could go to Angel, knew the ensouled vampire wouldn't turn him away. But it
would be just Xander's luck that telling Angel about his home life would give
him a great big happy and he lose his soul and make a meal out of Xander. Nah,
that would never happen. Angel didn't like Xander, but hearing about his
misery wouldn't make him happy. Shit, his sympathy would probably be even more
than Oz's. That thought made Xander sick to his stomach. Seeing the pity in
his eyes. Fuck that, he rather be vamp food.

He only had two choices. One; he could go back home and risk getting another
beat down for sneaking out. Two; he could swallow his pride and go to Giles.
His indecision stopped him dead in his tracks. home, go to Giles'. > Shit! Xander hated thinking. It hurt his
brain. Xander
decided to just walk and he'd go in whatever direction his feet would take
him. Subconciously, he knew where he's end up, but he still wasn't ready to
admit it. That he knew his feelings had grown stronger and much different.
That would be to admit that his father was right about him and he would never
in his life do that.

However, twenty minutes later, Xander stood in front of the door to where he
had hoped he wouldn't end up. < Damn! Why didn't I just go to Willow? She would understand. > Things
wouldn't have to be different if I didn't let them be. Still, Xander's fist rose and without another hesitation,
he knocked and waited for the door to be answered.