Oompa loompa doompety dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me
--The Oompa Loompas

Xander could hear the cries of his friends as he struggled to reach the
surface. Eyes closed against the liquid, he flailed his arms and legs
wildly, desperate for air. Finally, his head rose above the surface of the
quickly flowing river and he was able to pull in gasping breaths. "Help,"
he cried when he was able to breathe enough to speak. "Can'tÖ swim."

His friends were much too busy to help him at the moment, however. Willow
was standing on the bank of the river, screaming in fear. Buffy was
fighting the deranged vampire candy maker who ran the factory they were
currently in. Cordelia and Wesley had disappeared behind one of the large
candy mushrooms, and Oz was looking around in confusion, wondering how they
had managed to wind up in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory and trying to
figure out when the Oompa Loompas would be arriving.

Continuing to struggle against the current of the chocolate river, Xander
tried to make his way back to the bank, taking back every good thing he'd
ever said about the candy. Growing weaker as his struggles got him no
closer to solid ground, he prepared to give up, fairly certain he would
meet a much darker fate than Augustus Gloop had. Sadly he ceased
struggling, not wishing to die but much too tired to try any longer. Then,
just as he went under and prepared to lose consciousness, he felt strong
hands around him and felt himself being pulled to safety.

Feeling solid ground below him, Xander laughed giddily in between drawing
in gulping breaths of air. Finally he opened his eyes and looked over to
see who his savior was. Both Angel and Giles kneeled next to him, the
liquid chocolate dripping from their hair and clothes. Smiling happily at
both of them, he said, "Thank you. You know all those things you've heard
about death by chocolate? It's highly overrated. It's not nearly as much
fun as you'd think," he joked.

His friends rushed over to check on him after finishing their various
tasks, although Willow continued to scream in fear since her brain was
operating somewhat slowly and Oz still expected the Oompa Loompas to show
up at any moment. As she kneeled down next to her friend, Buffy dusted the
ash of the deranged vampire candy maker off her clothes and smiled. "You
okay?" she asked, a note of concern in her voice.

Xander nodded quickly. "I'm okay," he answered. "Don't think I can stand
yet, though," he added as he tried to move his tired limbs.

"Just rest for a little bit," she replied. "We'll go make sure everything
got stopped and your heroes here," she continued, indicating Giles and
Angel, "can help you out later." With that, she guided the others out of
the large edible room, leaving Xander with his rescuers.

Sitting up slowly, Xander looked at Angel and Giles. "You two look
ridiculous," he said, laughing. "And, umm, why are you looking at me like
that?" he asked warily.

"We thought you were going to die," Giles explained, pushing Xander back
down to the ground slowly.

"So you were concerned about me?" Xander asked incredulously. "Cause,
well, that's good, but that's not what those expressions are telling me.
You don't look that concerned. You look like you haven't eaten in weeks
and I'm a steak or something."

Angel chuckled as he began tugging the boy's sweatshirt over his head. Too
dazed to object, Xander allowed him to remove the sweatshirt then laid back
down. "See, like that," he said when coherent thought returned to him.
"Why was that necessary?"

"It wasn't," Giles murmured, pressing his mouth to Xander's cheek and
darting his tongue out to taste the chocolate that still lingered on the
boy's skin.

Xander tried to turn towards Giles but stopped and gasped at the sensation
of Angel's cold tongue lapping at the chocolate on his chest. His eyes
drifted closed as he moaned. "Umm," he said, trying to make his brain work
as his body trembled slightly at the unfamiliar sensations he was
experiencing. "I think all that chocolate affected your guys' heads," he
said and then moaned again as he felt Angel's mouth attach to his nipple.
"Oh wow. And okay, I think all that chocolate affected *my* brain. But
wowÖ That feels good."

"Xander, luv," Giles interrupted quietly. "Shhhh," he shushed him as he
moved his mouth to cover the teenager's, kissing him slowly.

Xander relaxed, giving himself up to the sensations he was feeling. He
thrust his tongue slowly against Giles', more than slightly surprised to
find himself becoming aroused by the attentions of the two men. His eyes
fluttered closed as Giles moved his mouth away to begin licking at the side
of his neck and Angel began a trail down his chest towards his stomach.

When he felt Angel's hand cupping his erection through his pants, his eyes
flew open and he looked sharply at the vampire, his dazed mind wondering
what exactly Angel meant to do. When he felt the unmistakable sensation of
the zipper of his pants being pulled down, his eyes widened in surprise and
he arched up as he felt the vampire's cold hand wrap around his straining
cock.

"Unnnnhhh," Xander whimpered as Angel tugged his pants down his legs and
then moved between his legs to return his attention to his erection. As he
felt the vampire's cool tongue come in contact with the tip of his cock,
his hips bucked, straining to bury him in Angel's mouth. The vampire
obliged, opening his lips and engulfing the teenager's erection in the cool
confines of his mouth. Trembling slightly at the unfamiliar sensation,
Xander attempted to avoid thrusting into Angel's mouth, remembering
somewhere in the back of his head that it wasn't pleasant for the other
person.

His head lolled to the side as the vampire moved his tongue and mouth up
and down his cock, licking away the sweet chocolate before setting to the
task of actually pleasuring Xander. When the last trace of chocolate was
gone, Angel began sucking at the tip of Xander's cock while Giles moved to
trace lazy circles over the exposed part that had not been taken into the
vampire's mouth. At the sensation of two mouths on his cock, one warm and
one supernaturally cold, Xander came, flooding Angel's mouth with hot
semen. As Angel moved back, Giles licked away the remaining cum from the
teenager's cock and then turned to taste the mixture of semen and chocolate
on the vampire's chin.

As Xander lay back with a dreamy look of satisfaction on his face, the
three men heard a soft sound from near the entrance of the room. Xander
sat up quickly, pulling his pants up to cover himself. As he saw Oz emerge
from behind an edible tree, he sighed, wondering how much the other
teenager had witnessed.

Taking in the situation, Oz stared for a moment and then said, "Huh." He
looked at them for a few more moments before smiling knowingly. "It turns
out there *were* Oompa Loompas after all," he informed them. "And they're
not too happy. Buffy sent me to get you guys out of here. And, uhh," he
continued, glancing nervously back at the entrance to the room as they
began to hear what sounded like a large group of people singing, "we should
probably be going now."

Scrambling to his feet, Xander zipped his pants and pulled his sweatshirt
over his head quickly. As they began hurrying out of the factory, Xander
noticed the state Angel and Giles were still in. "What about you?" he
whispered to the librarian as they ran.

"Don't worry," Giles replied, "we'll take care of that later. If you don't
mind, that is." When Xander shook his head quickly with a grin on his
face, he chuckled. "And perhaps Oz could join us if he wanted."

Oz looked over at them and nodded once. "Cool," he said shortly and then
returned his attention to getting the other three out of the chocolate
factory alive.

As they emerged from the factory into the early morning Sunnydale air, they
heard the soft sounds of the song of the Oompa Loompas drifting after them.

"Oompa loompa doompety doo
Blowjobs can be fun with at least two
Oompa loompa doompety dee
But they are more fun with at least three."